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Tuesday, March 12, 2002

Two Pump Chump

Well, it`s been an eventful couple of days. It would appear, boys and girls, that in addition to being a phone slut and whispering into your noodles about the trials and tribulations of that job, I`m also going to dunk my toes into the role of adult webmistress.


I knew when I created this site that I would provide a venue for people to call. I wasn`t going to flash banners and create mousetraps, but I was aware that people would want to call in the hopes of being mentioned in the diary or just to talk to the phone slut. People are funny like that. But, I never realized the amount of content I was going to be putting into it. The Phone Sex 101 and How To Be A Slut sections sort of sprung up because there didn`t seem to be a lot of information out there about them. And, when I first started I wasn`t going to put my Erotic Fiction on. Now, I actually have a website that seems to appeal to both men and women. And a unique opportunity to market that I never expected (and would have looked down upon when I started this project). So, at Rio`s bidding I have been hanging out at a few webmaster/mistress places like Adult Net Surprise and listening in on the Albumside shows.

In fact, during a show recently, I won a free ad designed by Graphics By Tia and I have to tell you, I`ve been in love with everything she`s showed me. I expect to have it up soon.

But, now here I am. A humble phone slut with all this info to digest. Egads. So, folks, I might be experimenting with the site here and there. Testing new ideas and perhaps programs. Hopefully with better results than the great rotating banner fiasco. Forgive the tinkering, but as I evolve and experiment, the site will doubtless reflect that.

Lately, for whatever reason, there has been an influx of johns that we refer to as Two Pump Chumps. These are guys who are so spring-loaded you barely murmur "hello" and they`re all the way to "ahhhh." These are amusing calls. Easy calls. And, funny. It is, in part, because of the Two Pump Chumps that call minimums were established. And, frankly, a lot of the time these guys get off just listening to the dispatcher take their credit card info.

These guys absolutely boggle my mind (I know, I know, which johns DON`T boggle my mind). But, seriously, why not call the local movie theater and listen to the girl dole out show times? Like the Chatty Cathys the Two Pump Chumps are rare. But, they seem to arrive in packs. You won`t have any for a long while then they pop up all over the place. Peppering your normal calls with 90 seconds of grunting and moaning before the fumbling hang up.

What I want to know is where these guys hide the other 11 months out of the year.



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