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Friday, March 15, 2002

To All The Geeks I`ve Rolled Before

I remember sitting in class and thinking to myself: "There is NEVER going to be a time in life I need to know what the fucking cosin under the arch is!" I am still of the opinion that the buttons which distinguish a scientific calculator from a regular one are elaborate conspiracies that really only scramble numbers at random, thus enabling the smart kids to pretend to know how to decipher fairy tale creations like logarithms.

However, it turns out that while I was failing Trig, something valuable happened. I befriended geeks. And it was the geeks who prepared me for my future as a phone slut.

Now, yes, I know what you`re thinking. There *was* the occasional tryst with the hornrimmed horndogs. They were there. They were eager. They were easy. And, you know, practice makes perfect. However, it wasn`t getting poked by poindexters that taught me valuable lessons of Phone Slutdom. It was being drug to D&D games.

Yes, I know. Say it ain`t so. Moi. The Phone Slut. Nose deep in Monster Manuals and Fiend Folios. But, you see, the punishment for failing Trig was tutoring. The perk of tutoring was getting fucked by geeks. The punishment for fucking geeks was waking up to a roomful of his friends sitting around rolling multi-sided dice. So, it was a take the good with the bad type situation.

However, it was lo those many nights as I was talked into being a Drow fighter / Cleric with a Scimitar of Speed, where I also hit upon my first encounters with role-playing. Being the only girl in a room full of randy halflings and wizards was no picnic. I swayed with charisma. I enticed with comeliness. I slinked with dexterity. I seduced innkeepers and kings. And, somewhere between trying to figure out how to hit an Armor Class of zero, I discovered the subtle art of making a man hang on your every word.

And how they will hang, girls. How they will hang. (Be they not hung already).

Okay, enough of that trip down the Yellow Geek Road. Recently a john asked me if I`d pretend to be an elf and it took me back a few steps. What the fuck DID I do with those dice?

Well, before I end this entry,I have to tell you, kids, our little Phone Slut Site is growing one step at a time. I`ve had the opportunity to talk to a few new johns and that is always a pleasure. My friends have also talked to some of you and that`s fab, too. I think this pretty New Ad that; Tia designed is truly the bee`s knees. I tell you what, Lady Luck swings both ways because she`s been face down in my panties since I started this site. Amazingly good friends to help me and offer advice. Fun and interesting johns who give me stuff to write about, even though I may give them a thrashing from time to time (they love it). And now, an ad that would have cost hundreds of dollars all for me by a cute little twist of providence.

Have a great weekend, all,



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