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Wednesday, April 24, 2002

Apparel

(Insert standard apologies for length between updates here)

The Slut:

Phone sex with a roommate is an interesting dance. In a way it`s very frustrating because there is always that realization that someone is bumping around in the house while you`re trying to whisper sweet and nasty into some horndog`s ear. On the other hand, I think it`s much more frustrating for the roomie who has to deal with a million rules like: TV below a whisper; movie on pause until I get back; no loud noises; and, the dreaded here, stir this until I get back. Urugh.

We are, however, coping. There are moments of gritted teeth aplenty, but adjustments are called ADJUSTMENTS for good reason.

I have also been pissing myself leafing through THIS SITE. I cannot imagine how long it took, but this guy deserves a cupie doll.

The best part of it is that he plays it so straight - you have to really pay attention to get it.

The Site:

This update sees the addition of the Douglas Simonson Gallery. A fucking awesome artist who breathes life and sensuality into his male nudes rendered in both amazing pencil and vibrant color.The man`s images make me feel carnivorous. I just want to nibble on them all.

Also, I`m trying an experiment of sorts. Basically, any john who orders a 30 minute call or more though my site will have the opportunity to get a 15 or 30 minute bonus call from me, FREE. Click HERE for more about that. Not going to take up a lot of diary space for it. I still have issues about turning this site into a flashing neon brothel sign.

I`m trying to sneak in advertising and make sure it never gets obtrusive. But, you know, bear with me. And please let me know if there`s something you ever strongly don`t like.

The Job:

Recently I`ve been getting a lot of Toe-Jam Johns and Pretty Boys. Which, for the most part, are pretty easy orders. In fact, I have to say that there are no other johns who surprised me more than these two genres when I first started out. I had completely daft misconceptions of what men who had cross-dressing and stocking fetish fantasies were like.

For one thing, I thought they were all gay - which is a total fucking misnomer. For another thing, I thought they were all the same.

Buaaahhhhaaaaa.

Recently while watching a re-run of Eddie Izzard`s stand-up show Dress to Kill I actually paid attention to something he says in the opening. "Most transvestites fancy women." and realized how true that is. Most of the men I talk to who get a jones for pumps and lipstick are pretty vanilla characters other than that. And, you know, let`s face it, 80s hair bands were all about guys dressing up like girls to get chicks.

Cross dressers (or whatever the politically correct term is this week) who dial up for phone sex can almost be divided into groups - but even THEN you have quirks and exceptions. But, here`s a general user`s guide as it works for me:

First, there are the panty boys. This is where there is the largest variety. Panty boys can be anything - sub, dom, bi, gay, hetero, relatively vanilla, or the kinkiest screw in the toolbox. Basically when you hear a guy say "I`m wearing panties" it`s still an "anybody`s guess" call, but I can guarantee it won`t be boring. There are not boring panty boys. Now, the color of the panties can be a huge factor. Little pink or white panties probably means you`ve got a "sissy boy" on your hands and he`s going to want humiliation and/or spanking and a lot of anal play in one fashion or another; they are most likely going to want to be fucked by another guy while "mommy" watches. Red or black panties - mostly a straight guy looking to get dressed up and then gang raped by Amazon women from the moon or some such thing.

Then you have the focused foot and stocking guys. I *love* these as long as the caller gives me a little insight into what cranks his crackerjacks. Some feet enthusiasts like bare legs because they don`t want anything between them and the flesh. Some like hairy legs. Some like smooth. Some want flippy spike heels, some want smelly old sneakers.

But nearly ALL of these types crave DETAIL. They want a fantasy they can touch, taste, and smell. They want to be lost in color and texture and whisper and moan and flingers sliding along arches and tongues between toes.

Some are short-callers. I have one who does the 7-minute minimum every time he calls because all I have to say is "my toes slip under your balls" and WOOSH - that`s all she wrote. I have others who go on for hours - often spending quite a bit of time just listening to me describe my stockings, my heels, my panties.

The only time I have trouble with these guys is when they want the hot-wax treatment on a soapsuds budget. They`ll buy a 10 minute call and want to get immersed in fantasy. Hell, in 10 minutes you can`t even get damp in fantasy....lol.

And so I struggle to keep the fantasy simple, but provide enough detail and dialog to stimulate. It`s a tightrope walk.

Don`t get me wrong - 10 minutes can DO the job. Hell, for the most part you can make the monkey spit in under 3 if you work it - but that isn`t fantasy. That`s just talking nasty and getting off. Fantasy is different. Fantasy takes effort and time and the intensity moves to that next level. And Fantasy is why all those people who say "I`ve never gotten into phone sex" don`t wash with me. They are, quite simply, doing it wrong. It`s like saying "I never really get much out of masturbation." Fantasy is the one place where you can have anyone anyway you want them.

Mr. Data, report to the Holodeck.

I think what all this boils down to is that I`m developing a sincere enjoyment for men in skirts.

Beam me up, Scotty.

PS


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