There is a bizarre constant in being a phone slut.

No matter when you put the soup on the stove, the phone will ring. The moment you realize you have to pee, the john you`re on the phone with will want to go two hours. And he won`t be one of the ones who likes to listen to that sort of thing.

I am not exactly sure what is responsible for this sadistic twist on Murphy`s Law, but it sincerely fucks with a phone slut`s head. You go an hour without a call. You put some water on to boil, toss in a little salt and olive oil. The water starts to bubble. You pour in your pasta and...

*ring*

And all you can think is just…FUCK.

I have not had anything al dente since I started this job. You get a hamburger patty sizzling just right in a frying pan - the onions just beginning to caramelize…and…

*ring*

You`re watching a great thriller and the murderer is just about to…

Well, you get the idea.

I`m gonna go eat my mushy linguine.

- PS