Some Phone Sex Basics
It amazes me how many johns are prepared to shell out cash for an interactive sexual experience and expect to get away with bringing absolutely nothing to the party. Well, grab an amp and help rig the sound, baby, because you're playing this gig, too.
Here is the most frustrating and all too common exchange that most phone sluts dread:
Phone Slut: Hi, John, this is Doxy.
John: Hi Doxy.
Phone Slut: And what are you up to tonight?
John: Uh. Just feeling kinda horny.
Phone Slut: Well, that's what I'm here for, darlin'. Is there any special fantasy that really turns you on?
John: Uh, no.
Phone Slut: Nothing wicked or kinky that you find really hot?
John: I, uh, no. I just like everything.
Great. Just great.
Well, let me let you in on a little secret, guys. There are UNLIMITED possibilities that a phone slut encounters and if you don't give her at least some hint of a direction, she has no idea where your boundaries are or what the fuck is going to work for you.
Below, you'll find a few tips that are guaranteed to make a phone sex experience infinitely more satisfying. There's also some educational materials. I apologize about having no hand puppets for demonstrative purposes. They're on vacation.
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Types of Service
Below are the basic types of phone sex services, although there are endless variations and combinations.
Dispatch Connection Location Miscellany
Automated Dispatch - These types of services can have either toll-free or 900/976 call-in numbers that are automated. The 900 versions of these services are billed to your phone and are highly regulated. With the toll-free automations, you have to punch in your credit card information and some kind of other verification like a zip code or date of birth. They are still regulated, but not as strictly as the 900 types. Automated services don't typically offer you the choice of phone slut or fantasy type, they're just routed to the next gir in the cue. Almost all automated systems will hook you up to a Sweat Shop (see below). Because any kid could pick up the phone and lift their parent's credit card, these automated services are regulated and are restricted in terms of subject matter and explicit language.
Live Dispatch - This type of service is almost always toll-free. Live dispatch services are not heavily regulated, so they can offer "no taboos" due to their one-on-one verification procedures. Live verification is good for both the service and the client. A live dispatcher is more likely to peg someone attempting to use a stolen credit card, and would be able to provide a fraud investigator with the phone number the crook was calling from, as well as report the card stolen to prevent further abuse. A service with a live dispatcher isn't going to just let a stolen credit card by because they know they're going to face chargebacks, so there is a lot of motivation to do the right thing. A live dispatcher can also take requests for specific types of fantasies or a special phone slut - and they can make an educated decision about which phone slut to pair up with a john. Here's an interesting fact - most dispatchers work on commissions, so the longer the john and slut talk, the more they make. This motivates the dispatcher to give the john to the right slut. Basically if you don't want to get fucked in a BAD way, live dispatch services are the only way to go.
If you call a live dispatch service, expect them to verify credit info, date of birth, and various other types of billing details. Any 12-year-old boy can pick up a phone and dial a 900 number or grab mom's credit card and punch his way through an automated system. It's not so easy when a dispatcher answers the phone and asks for all of the billing info that will have to correspond with the information provided by a billing institution. Also, it's easier to spot underage perpetrators. If the DOB is 1946 and the guy sounds like Screech from Saved By The Bell, there's a problem there.
One final note on live dispatchers - don't fuck with these people. They have a difficult job coordinating phone sluts, juggling johns, and verifying information with financial institutions. You know how much you HATE to call your bank? Well, dispatchers have to deal with that kind on hassle on EVERY call they take. It isn't a dispatcher's job to talk dirty to you - THEY JUST PROCESS YOUR ORDER and they don't have time for chitchat.
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Direct Connection - The john provides his billing information and then holds the line while he is connected to a phone slut. These can be made through both live and automated services - toll free, or phone-billed. Traditionally direct connections have been made through automated services, but most of the modern live dispatch services are now offering this in addition to Call Back options. Direct connect means that you can call, dick in hand, and be talking with a phone slut right away.
Call Back - The john places an order with a dispatcher and then a phone slut calls him back a few moments later. There aren't any automated services that offer a call back option. These girls are definitely calling from home. Some services offer collect callbacks, and these should cost less than the toll-free call backs. Collect callbacks are a no-no for johns who have to worry about someone looking at the phone bill. Also, on collect calls, the slut has to request an operator to block the number. This is usually more expensive for the client.
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Sweat Shop - The john calls into an office where there are various phone sluts in one room panting and moaning into different extensions. Again, there are FCC regulations in effect here that limit the explicitness of a conversation. The concentration level of the phone slut is not always able to remain at an optimum level, either (how easily can you focus when someone is standing outside your cubicle making faces at you?). Almost all automated dispatch and 900/976 numbers connect you to phone sluts in Sweat Shops. You couldn't pay me enough to work for this kind of crap.
Work-At-Home-Slut - The john is either directly connected to, or waits for a call back from a phone slut who is working out of the privacy of her own home. Because the call then becomes a private conversation between two parties, there are no federal restrictions to limit the explicitness or subject matter of the call. A phone slut will normally employ various privacy protection (call blocking, etc) methods as the norm.
I work for a service that provides both Live Dispatch Direct Connect and Call Back options. I prefer Call Back and I will ONLY work out of my own home. Working from home means I can create my own work environment - a room equipped and altered to fit the mood of my profession, and I'm free to be as nasty as I want without any regulations getting in the way of a great fantasy. Also, calling the john back means that I can make preparations to be completely attentive to the call. I can pee and get a drink, turn down the casserole in the oven, or pause the movie I'm watching. While a john might have to wait longer for a Call Back than he would on a Direct Connect, I think the experience is better for him in the long run. He will get an unhurried, deeply focused experience. If he's so hard and panting that he can't wait the extra minute, the call's probably not going to really be worth my time anyway.
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Recorded Fantasy - The john calls and listens to usually slow-paced recordings of sexual conversations. These tend to be more soft-core due to FCC regulations and are paced and scripted to make the client stay on the phone as long as possible. Can be either 900/976 type toll numbers, long distance calls, or automated to take credit card info.
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What the Numbers Tell You
900 numbers: 900 numbers today don't have much cooperation from the phone companies, so they rely on third-party billing. They can be legit businesses, or just a fly-by-night organizations hoping to make a lot of money before they get shut down for ripping off the caller. Luck of the draw, babe. One sure bet in this category is Web900, a third-party billing service that offers flat-rate calls through various services. Web900 doesn't let you go over $35 and there are no refunds for unused minutes. 900 numbers mean restrictions on the nature of your conversation. They mean you're probably connecting to a sweat shop. Quite frankly, the only johns who use these types of services are the one who don't have any other method of payment available to them.
011 numbers: These are offshore numbers, most of which go to many different countries including islands in the Caribbean and off the coast of Africa. This is where you might be likely to run into phone sluts with thick accents. You may run into people with barely any grasp of the language you're speaking, and companies who don't answer to the same type of fraud laws as where you're calling from. On the plus side, you're only paying the pre-designated long distance charges, whatever they may be. If you're thinking of calling one of these numbers you should ALWAYS call your long distance provider and verify what the rates will be for the call. You can find some rate request methods and other 011 information at: http://www.011guru.com/country.html#list
800/877/866 Numbers: These are toll-free numbers that have a dispatcher or automated system in place to take your billing information. Most rely on credit card payment, but many companies accept pre-payment with an online processor, a check-by-phone company, and/or a Web900 service.
10XXX Numbers: Per-minute numbers that are routed through a central switch with additional phone numbers that put you through to the service. There is typically a recorded introduction telling you to hang up if you're under 18, and disclosing what the cost per minute is and what the service offers - which can be ANYTHING. It can be recorded fantasy, hook-up to a party line, one-on-one phone slut contact - the sky's the limit. Most 10XXX numbers connect to locations in Canada, so you can reasonably expect English or French speaking operators and phone sluts. No FCC regulations, so the 10XXX numbers can deliver explicit phone sex.
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1. Phone sex companies can charge anything they want a minute. The average is between $1.99 and $5.99 a minute.
2. Most services have a non-negotiable minimum talk time which is somewhere between 5 and 10 minutes. This practice originated with the long-distance billing procedures of phone companies which offer considerably lower long distance rates, but require X number of minutes per call. So, maybe they are only 4 cents a minute, but there is a ten or twelve minute minimum, etc. The phone sex service adapts accordingly.
3. Eight seconds denotes a full minute. This can also be traced to long-distance billing practices of phone companies. It doesn't matter if you talk for 7:08 or 7:58 - you'll be charged for eight minutes.
4. Most services have a pre-designated maximum time limit. If you plan to talk for more than thirty minutes or an hour, make sure you tell the dispatcher. Often, they only check availability of funds for a certain block of time and will instruct the phone slut to cut you off after that no matter how sparkling and pretty your credit may be.
5. Phone sluts will often have more than one persona with a service. This helps them track their regular customers and know what to expect from a call. A twenty-something girl named Jane could possibly have an 18 year-old vanilla persona called "Amy," a thirty-something dom persona named "Mistress Scarlett" and an ageless she-male persona know as "Pat."
6. Charges should appear on your credit card as something fairly innocuous like ABC Services or 123 Unlimited, but it never hurts to ask.
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Avoid Getting Ripped Off
1. The billing rate does not necessarily correspond to the level of experience you can expect. A company that charges only $2.99 per minute may have been in business longer than the one that charges $5.99 per minute. Don't automatically think that because you're paying more you're getting more. Make sure you specifically ASK what the rate is and if it changes the longer you talk.
2. Make sure you ask what the minimum talk time is. You may only talk for three minutes, but if the service charges a ten-minute minimum, you'll be billed for it.
3. You CAN set a designated cut-off limit and have the dispatcher instruct the phone slut to end the call after X amount of minutes. If you want to go beyond a cut-off, however, the phone slut will have to end the call and you'll have to call the dispatcher and request a new session.
4. Beware services with advertising slogans like "hot Swedish sluts wet and ready for your call." Oftentimes, these can be services that connect out of the country, and the girls don't necessarily speak English. Not to mention the laws and practices of credit card fraud can vary from country to country.
5. Keep your eye on which services advertise in multiple publications and websites. It costs money to put an ad in a high profile publication like Hustler, etc. Plus magazines like Hustler require them to place ads for a number of months, not just one. A company that spends legitimate funds on advertising is looking to be in business for a while.
6. If you're hesitant to hand out your credit card over the phone, you can find a service that accepts pre-payment on-line via third party billing, or that allows you to mail in money orders for pre-payment. This also helps you set a pre-designated time limit.
7. The best sign of an established, experienced service will be multiple billing methods. They will be affiliated with a credit card verification service, an online pre-payment service, a 900 third party billing service, and/or be willing to accept money orders and checks for prepaid accounts. A fine example of this is 18andFilthy.com.
8. Don't keep talking to a girl you don't' like. There are any number of reasons the chemistry between a john and a phone slut don't work. If you've given it about thirty seconds and the mood is nill, tell her so - or just hang up and call back dispatch and ask for another fantasy artist. Just know that once you hit a full minute and a half, you're considered responsible for the call. The reason for this is because many guys CAN and DO cum in two minutes or thereabouts. Some guys even get off while pretending to give the dispatchers their billing information. Scrubs.
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Facts & Hints
1. TELL the dispatcher what you want. If you want to anally rape an aardvark while having a ten-year-old Latvian slave girl shit in your mouth then TELL the dispatcher. Trust me, these women hear EVERYTHING and put up with more psychos than you can fathom. You are NOT going to shock them. They'll appreciate your making their job easier. When you tell them what you want, they can select the right phone slut for you. They can notify her ahead of time so that she can begin forming the skeleton of a fantasy before she even says hello to you. It starts the ride off much smoother and puts you and the phone slut ahead of the game. But DO NOT FORGET the note on live dispatchers above. Don't hassle these women, don't think they have time to waste flirting with you for free. Please take my word on this, no matter how charming you think you are, you're NOT going to sweet-talk a dispatcher into giving you one for free.
2. ALWAYS indicate if you like or do not like where the fantasy is going. A simple "oh yeah" or some vocal panting will do just fine - you don't have to work out a complicated signal system. Don't be afraid to redirect the fantasy if it begins to veer off into a direction you don't enjoy. You ARE the customer - all good phone sluts know that. Just say "forget about the slave girl, let's go back to the aardvark," and most phone sluts will happily follow your indicator. If you do like it, however, just keep muttering something like "yeah baby" or "just like that" so that the phone slut isn't scrambling to try and figure out what turns you on. An experienced phone slut is very intuitive and she only needs the slightest indicators to help her focus on making the fantasy work. These indicators are YOUR job as the john.
3. UNDERSTAND that you are the one who will signal to the phone slut what your boundaries are. If you are into something extreme, you need to make a bold statement that's going to get her there. If you like really nasty vulgarisms, then use them. And, before you roll your eyes and snort - NO, IT REALLY ISN'T A GIVEN. I have a bunch of johns who prefer more soft-core words like "pussy" to the more hardline "cunt." The moment YOU use the word, however, the phone slut will know that venue is open and you'll be able to hear all the nastiness you like. Also, keep in mind that some johns want to weave a fantasy, and others want to hear one; a phone slut will take the lead once you indicate that you want to be the primary talker or listener.
4. DO NOT JUST HANG UP. I can't tell you how fucking annoying that is. I have one john who has been calling since I started. I've talked to him dozens upon dozens of times. He'll call in and REQUEST me, and just hang up at the end of the call. It takes such little time and effort to mutter something like "goodbye" or "thank you" at the end - DO IT. This signals to the phone slut that the call is OVER and she won't have to call out "hello?" a hundred times trying to figure out if you've hung up or if you're just in a post-orgasm stupor.
5. DO NOT BLUR the line between fantasy and reality. Many johns like to talk after they cum and that's fine. They'll inquire about the phone slut and the job, etc. - just curious chit-chat once the sexual tension has been alleviated. This is going to vary from phone slut to phone slut, but some are chatty and some are not. Some are more private than others. By and large, I can promise you that the vast majority of phone sluts are just going to fucking lie to you. It's all about maintaining the fantasy, bub. They might give you a glimpse of what is real in small doses, but don't get your hackles up if you find out somewhere down the line that the picture you got emailed is a fake or the name she gave you is totally bogus. It's the nature of the beast. We are ladies of illusion. Fucking deal.
6. DON'T ASK stupid questions. Don't ask if the phone slut got off, too. Let me help you out here - NO, she didn't. This is her JOB. Even if she's really turned on, odds are that she isn't going to lose control and go for a full-fledged orgasm with a john. If you want to hear what an amazing stud you are, go ahead and ask. Just realize you're putting her in the position where she has to lie to you (which is fine, you're a man, women are used to lying to you about sex). I promise you, on the long shot that she really DOES get off, you won't have to ask.
7. TIP. Sure, a phone slut has a base salary, but just like a valet, matre'd or bell person, choice clients tip after service has been rendered satisfactorily. Some Grade-A johns will tip anywhere from $40 to $100 in addition to the price of their call, but that isn't standard. Even a $5 or $10 tip will indicate to the phone slut that you appreciated the effort she put into your experience. When you call back to place the tip, it's also a good idea to tip the dispatcher if you use a service regularly - she's the one who divvies out the assignments and will make sure you get the more experienced and requested girls if you take care of her.
8. DON'T EXPECT anything beyond the phone call. This isn't the first step in a courting ritual. You aren't going to woo a phone slut to fly out to meet you and fuck your brains out on some beach in Bermuda. This is a business relationship. It's personal fantasy and it's sexually charged, but it's just like your waitress or your hair stylist. A service is being performed. True, I have established long-term relationships with johns who send me gifts, cash and love poems - I have johns who pay big bucks for my panties and my lingerie and things you can't begin to fathom - but they are, at the end of the day, CLIENTS. As attractive as they may or may not be, as rich as they may or may not be, they're business. A phone sex service isn't a dating or escort establishment. Those are listed under different headings, and they'll cost you a hell of a lot more than a phone session.
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Oh let's take a moment and chat about fraud, shall we?
There are the underage callers and the stolen credit card types of fraud that I've discussed in various sections above. Basically, a service that doesn't verify enough billing information is opening itself up to that kind of fraud and, well, dems the breaks.
There is, however, another type of fraud that I think bears mentioning. After a legitimate john has called and utilized services, he will get the bill and figure "it's only phone sex, I'm not going to pay it" and will institute a dispute with his financial institution. This is the phone slut equivalent of banging a hooker and then trying to pick her pocket on your way out the door.
In this business you can fuck a girl from behind, you can even fuck her up the ass, but if you want to sit the Vaseline on her back while you go about those kind of shenanigans, don't expect it to be pretty.
What these nimrods fail to realize is that reputable services keep accurate records and may even employ phone systems that automatically log info that can be later searched out and retrieved.
Oh, and there are also the phone company's records of where the caller was and how long the call was to match exactly how the billing information was verified, who he talked to, and sometimes even notes taken by the phone slut about what type of call it was.
John X paid with Credit Card Y and called from Phone Number Z. Phone Slut X called him back and, the call lasted Y minutes and they talked about fantasy Z.
Pimps and Madames know that discretion is a KEY factor in their business so they usually keep these records in such a way that no phone slut or dispatcher has access to too much of a client's personal info. BUT, it is all there in the case of a legal dispute. And they will not hesitate to forward all of these details to credit card fraud departments, as well as banks, and - in extreme cases - local and federal law enforcement agencies (credit card fraud is a federal offense).
A malicious pimp or madame can send a nice hefty package of info directly to the john's home to the attention of him and his spouse/partner - after all, there needs to be full disclosure of the evidence against the john.
Oh, and most phone sex organizations have been dealing with bogus fraud claims for years and they have a pool of legal services with healthy experience in debt collections.
Basically, just follow the advice of Baretta - don't do the crime if you can't do the time. If you make a call to a phone sex service, you are contracting through a business, and that business is discrete and confidential right up to the point where you make it defend itself with teeth and fangs.
Heh heh heh. We bad, we bad.
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