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Tuesday - March 26, 2002

How to sell the contradiction? I guess that's the million dollar question, isn't it? More on that later.

My my my. Where does the time go?

*insert your own creative reason for the length between updates here*

First, we'll talk about the site (groan all you want). I have been working on some new areas of the site that will hopefully be available soon. First, I am going to have a few picture galleries. Jack Henslee has fabulously agreed to let me use some of his images to create a gallery on my site. And, the wonderfully naughty RetroRaunch is now letting their affiliates use images to create galleries, so that's equally fun. Plus Ami and a few other webgirls that I've met are letting me create galleries of them, so I'll have an amateur gallery as well. To say this site is evolving beyond anything I ever dreamed of would be a huge understatement. I'm also considering a product review page to list the favorite sex toys of your humble phone slut.

But lordy that seems like a lot of work, so no promises on the actual dates of completion.

Now, I know this would seem like I am continuing to talk about the site, but actually, this addresses one of the topics I was going to discuss, so bear with me. When I first started this site, I got a bit of negative input. No matter. A phone slut is not thin-skinned. Then, my mailbox started pouring out positive feedback and I have been shocked and flattered and encouraged by it - even the ones I haven't had a chance to respond to ;-) However, recently, after adding my link to Phone Sex Central I got two very annoying letters. Because I *am* just that much of an annoying bitch, I will reprint them below without their email addresses of origin.

From a reader identifying himself as "Mark":

Hey, why do you put something so damn stupid on the web? I think you are very ignorant of your job. All you people just buy pictures of other pretty women anyway. I know the business, well I am a guy. Using my girlfriends email, so my children don't get hold of any sent items here. Try something "real" for men, and we may just might call you more often. Stop the fake pics. shit. Really, we are not that stupid, stupid. see ya, wouldn't want to be YOU. mark even a remote chance anyone of you look like a real women? Not airbrushed fakes. That's what i am telling guys with my own site, PHONEYS! these women are not who you are talking to. Airbrushed with pretty backgrounds. Get over it. Alot of guys don't know. I will be sure to start spreading the work quickly on my site. Fake shit.

From a reader identifying himself as "Jerry":

Nice perception of your industry...NOT!!!!! From under what rock did you crawl out of??? You're probably one of those 500 pound phone sex operator blimps that I see on Jerry Springer, aren't you? You have such a low self esteem and that of your profession that you consider yourself just a scummy prostitute. I use a phone sex service and am proud of it. In fact, most of my friends know it. A John?? Hardly. If you are so ashamed of your profession, you should get out and leave it to the true professionals. I know one thing. Those companies that you advertise on your site, I'll never use! You have got to be associated with one of them.

*insert pause here* DO NOT LAUGH! These guys are SERIOUS! Okay...laugh a little.

Now, assuming the writers of said emails were over the age of 14 (considering the grammar, it`s hard to be sure) and assuming they were not other phone sluts taking a moment to disparage their "competition" my first instinct upon reading these was that there are two gentlemen in the world who sincerely need a nap. And, perhaps are just a little cranky that some phone slut once broke their hearts.

What is interesting here is the anger expressed about the actual physical appearance of phone sluts. And, that's the point I am getting to while pausing to take a shot at the mentally challenged individuals above. 

I understand the desire of fantasy elements. For whatever reason, some physical attributes stimulate different people. Many men like redheads - others blondes, etc. Personally, I have a thing for tall, quiet types like David Morse and another thing for chubby Dionysian rogues like Oliver Platt. This doesn't mean I would kick Mel Gibson out of my bed. It just means that there are times when the garden of my imagination grows more than roses. It means that given my location, mood, last meal, and current consumption of alcohol I conjure everything from tenderness to borderline abuse. From taboo to innocence. From strapping young buck to wheelchair stranger (John Voight in Coming Home will forever be responsible for that one). Not that you need the intimate details of my personal fantasies. But, the point is, I do not always want the same guy in the same way every time I get the urge to tickle myself in the tub.

So, if the job is fantasy, how in the name of fuck could a phone slut be expected to be HERSELF or any one character for that matter? That's like saying an actor should only play one role over and over and over. It only lasts so long. After a while, even the most beloved fantasy loses it`s appeal.

Also many phone sex sites have multiple websites focusing on different niches. Domination, co-ed, transvestite...the list is endless. As I mention in my Phone Sex 101 information page, it is not at all unusual for a girl to have 5 or 6 characters on a given service. Some services refuse to use real pictures for liability reasons. There are safety issues involved as well. Stalkers and all around creepy blokes are thick on the ground. 

Some of the phone sluts I know are models, strippers, and webcam girls. Others are soccer moms and girls working through college. Some are friendly, some are rude, some are ditzy, some are intelligent, some are beautiful on the inside, others on the outside, some are both and some are neither. They are real and they are fantasy. 

It isn't a simple gig, kids. It can't be pigeon-holed.

I was speaking with a john who called from the site and we chatted briefly about how some men find smart to be sexy - while others are intimidated. The men who stress about the fantasy on the other end of the phone are generally either 1) misguided and deluding themselves into thinking there could ever be a relationship after the phone disconnects - or 2) suffering from a complex about "being made a fool of." Although I think if you're paying $4+ a minute to feel stupid about yourself, there isn't a lot I can do for you. 

The woman on the other end of the line could be be Madonna or Rosanne. The trick is which one of them can make you think she's Jenna Jameson? Or the teenaged cheerleader next-door?  

I worry about johns who expect too much - or those who are emotionally unhealthy. I have no desire to contribute to anyone's self-deprecation. However, I don't want to judge anyone's kink either, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish that line. I care about the guys who call as human beings. As much as I poke fun and crack jokes, I truly believe each caller is deserving of pleasure, of common courtesy, of non-judgment, of a smile and a kind word - should those be the things they seek. 

It is easy to write off the job and the johns with a shrug of disgust. It's hard to juggle the intensity, the emotion, the blurry lines between professional roles and familiarity...okay, the horse is dead. I`ll stop beating it. I am just fascinated that our human vanities extend into the depths of collective psyches so much that we'd feel anger or shame toward someone for playing a part we are PAYING THEM TO PLAY. It's just fruit loops.

For the record there are no pictures of me on this site. There never will be.

I could very well be the sultry temptress, the soccer mom, the 500 lb blimp, or the spunky little imp. I am all of those women at one time or another. All phone sluts are - but more importantly - all women are. We have all stood in front of mirrors frowning over an article of clothing that is too tight, admiring a curve that seemed sensually appealing in the right light and fabric, plucking eyebrows, blowing kisses, winking slyly.

Phone sex is free of realities. It gains and loses equal measure on that score. The pluses all have minuses. And both of those have a price tag - as do many other things in life.

Sorry, had to give that dead horse one last kick.

For some personal mish-mash to sum up this last edition of War and Peace I'll let you in on a few personal notes.

1. I just got a roommate. Yep, this phone slut now has an old friend residing in the spare room. I'm sure future journal entries will explore this new dynamic in my life. Hopefully in the positive more than the negative.

2. Sinn decided to torment me a few minutes ago by showing me this site. If you have a weakness for frilly hosiery, DO NOT GO. But God, sometimes isn't it WONDERFUL being a girl? How much can shipping from the UK possibly be? Could ANYONE really resist these?

3. I've been chatting recently a bit with Peter Throckmorton (Diary of a Slut). I wish, sincerely, that I could talk to other new acquaintances as easily. It's a blessing to be able to discuss differences in lifestyles without judgment or the worry of offending.

4. Rio is being held hostage by Felicia and made to work. She has been a naughty madame. Felicia is Rio`s right-hand-woman and I cannot believe I haven't written about her before. I'll snap to a brief mention of her on the Cast list.

Well, I think that's all that I can possibly fit into one update. Hopefully I won't be too long before the next one. And I'll have some new site features to blab about.



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